Unlike the popular book new parents receive when they're taking on the responsibility of caring for another life, there is no "what to expect when your parents are aging" book for caregivers. Caregiving is a lot of work, often underpaid and underappreciated, and it’s not something most people are prepared for.  
 
From doctors’ appointments and managing budgets to the stress of worrying about your family member’s health and well-being, it can be overwhelming. 

According to a 2020 study¹, more than 53 million Americans engage in some form of caregiving activity every year. As more Americans become caregivers, it’s important to get organized and make a plan to tackle the responsibility of caring for a loved one. 

As your parents age, there will be more doctor appointments and health concerns to address. Creating a plan can help you organize appointments and manage their health as they get older. These are some tips to help you get health and medical information organized. 

• What type of insurance does your loved one have? 
  Knowing what type of insurance your parent has, including the plan details and any login information, will help you schedule appointments and assist with their care.

   

• What does insurance cover?  
  See what the insurance covers and make sure you’re utilizing all the benefits available.

   

• Ask to be listed as someone who can talk to their doctor and access medical records. 
  If you’re assisting with healthcare decisions, it’s essential for your parents to grant you permission to view and discuss their medical records. 

   

• When possible, join appointments so you can ask questions and talk to the doctor. 

   

• Plan ahead for doctor’s appointments by making a list of your questions and any notable health changes. Here’s a checklist to help you prepare for appointments.  

   

• Organize and check your loved one’s medication.  
  Aging comes with an increase in prescriptions, vitamins, and other medications. Make a list of the medicine your parents take and what time of day it should be taken. Consider buying a pill organizer to help your parents keep track of their weekly and daily medicine. 

It’s important for your parents to continue living their lives. Encourage sticking with hobbies, activities, and keeping friendships. Here are some ways to help with their mental and social well-being.  
 

• Seek out activities or groups specifically for seniors. 
  Many organizations, from local government to religious groups, offer senior-specific activities. Find ways to help your parents connect with their community.

   

• Encourage at-home crafts and activities. 
  The internet is an excellent resource for finding crafts and activities specifically for seniors. CenterWell Senior Primary Care® offers several crafting tutorials that can be found in our online programs. Additionally, Pinterest and blogs feature countless activities for any skill level, including beginner, advanced, and dementia-friendly projects. 

   

• CenterWell Senior Primary Care events are a great way for seniors to stay social and prevent boredom. Visit the events page on our website for more information. 

   

• Prioritize what matters to your parent.

There’s a limited amount of time each day and you may need to decrease the frequency of some events. Talk to your parents about what’s most important to them and prioritize scheduling meaningful activities, whether it’s a monthly social gathering or a particular hobby.

Many daily tasks become challenges as people age. From cooking to navigating their home, you may need to make changes for your parents’ health and safety. Here are some tips for a safe and healthy home.

• Help grocery shop and plan meals around what your loved one is willing and able to eat. 

  A lot of seniors skip meals or don’t have the energy to meal plan. Help grocery shop and choose easily prepared meals that will support a balanced diet. Meal kits may be an excellent choice if you’re unable to grocery shop for them, and they are available for a variety of dietary restrictions.

   

• Check to make sure their home is safe. 

  As your parents age, they may need to make changes around their home to stay safe. Do a home safety check and make any necessary adjustments like removing clutter or checking smoke detectors to help prevent potential accidents. The National Institute on Aging has an excellent worksheet that can help.² 

   

• Plan for household chores. 

  From laundry to mowing, the maintenance of a house can become overwhelming for elderly parents. Create a list of everything needed to keep your parents’ house clean and safe. You may need to ask for or hire help for chores that your parents can no longer perform.

   

• Create an emergency plan. 

  In case of weather or other unexpected events, every house needs to have an emergency plan. Build a plan and emergency kit for your parents to help prepare. If you do not live close to your parents, consider asking for a neighbor’s contact information so they have someone nearby in case of an emergency.³

   

• Don’t forget beloved pets. 

  Pets are an important part of the family. Decide who’s going to care for the pets in the event your parents can’t. This allows time to prepare for pet ownership, find an adopter and get any needed supplies. 

Staying on top of your parent’s finances is an important caregiver task. As your family member ages, it can become more difficult to manage their money, budget, and bills. Here are some ways that you can help.

• Assess Retirement Accounts. 
  Look at your parent’s pension, social security, 401K, IRA, and any other retirement accounts they might have access to. This will help you create a budget and see if there are any gaps that might be filled by an assistance program.

   

• Check if your loved one qualifies for any assistance programs. 
  Many seniors qualify for programs which can help with the financial strain of caregiving. Learn about different Medicare programs, Medicaid options, food aid programs, utility help programs, etc. that may be available to them. These can vary based on your location and financial situation.⁴

   

• Make a list of assets. 
  Create a list that includes your parents’ banks accounts, retirement accounts, owned homes, cars, and any other valuable items to better understand their financial standing.

   

• Look at your parents’ debts.  
  Look at any debts or liabilities your parents may have. This can include loans, credit card debt, and any other lines of credit. 

   

• Ask your parents to add you as an authorized user on their accounts. 
  Being added to accounts, like bank and utility accounts, allows you to make payments or changes in the event they’re unable.

Aging comes with a lot of legal decisions, which often intimidate caregivers. This list will help you grasp upcoming legal decisions and how you can help your parents. 

• Help with legal documents, including will and power of attorney.  
  Help your parents organize any legal documents, including their will and choosing someone as their power of attorney. This helps ensure their wishes are documented and respected as they age. 

   

• Organize your parents’ paperwork. Important paperwork includes:⁹

   

• Personal information 

   

• Identity Documents and Records

   

• Contact Information for friends and family

   

• Meet with an elder law or estate planning attorney to help plan for potential incapacity and to make sure you’re not missing any benefits available to your loved one^.5 

  
  Getting external legal advice can help you navigate potential pitfalls that come with aging and caregiving. Consulting an attorney early, before cognitive impairment, means your parents can make their own decisions. Elder law attorneys can help navigate everything from wills to a variety of available benefits. 

Sometimes the hardest part about being a caregiver is taking care of yourself. It’s important to maintain your own health so you can be the best caregiver possible for your loved one. Below are some resources and ideas that will help you take care of yourself while also caring for your parent.

• Learn about the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and how it applies to caregivers. 
  Sometimes caregiving can pull you away from your career, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have options. FMLA is there to provide job-protected leave. Learn about the FMLA as it applies to caring for a parent at https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/28C-fmla-eldercare.^6&7 

   

• If you’re working with other family members, keep a notebook to coordinate care.  
  Caregiving isn’t always a one-person job. Sometimes siblings or other family members pitch in. Keeping everyone organized and on the same page helps prevent gaps in care as your parent switches between caregivers.⁸ 

   

• Take care of yourself as a person, not just as a caregiver. 
  Caregivers often neglect their own health and needs. Remember: To provide the best care to your loved ones, you need to keep yourself healthy. Learn more about preventing caregiver burnout.

   

• Find someone you can talk to or join a support group. 
  Talking to someone about the challenges of caregiving can help prevent burnout. Whether you’re chatting with a friend, sibling, or participants in a support group, it’s essential to have someone to share your experience with. 

   

Every caregiver is different and there may be things you need to add to your personal checklist that are specific to you and your parent’s life. The important thing to remember is to take care of yourself and give yourself grace as you care for an aging parent. If you’re caregiving, you’re doing something exceedingly generous and kind for your parents. 

Our complete checklist for caregivers helps build an organized plan so you can focus your energy on spending valuable time with your parents.

Sources:  

1. Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 Executive Summary - AARP Research Report
2. Home Safety Checklist
3. Emergency Preparedness Checklist for Caregivers
4. How to Get Help Paying for Food, Housing, and Healthcare
5. Finding an Attorney to Help with Estate Planning
6. Using FMLA Leave to Care for Someone Who Was in the Role of a Parent to You When You were a Child
7. Family Caregivers: Information on the Family and Medical Leave Act
8. Caregiver Worksheets
9. Where to find my important papers