As your parents age, you may wonder: do they need additional help? A lot of factors weigh into that decision, including your parents’ wishes and any concerns about their health. Sometimes when change is gradual, it’s hard to know at what point a problem is more than an inconvenience and help is required. 

We’ve created a list of 10 signs your elderly parent may need help. This can help guide the conversations as you and your family determine what type of care your parent needs. Everyone is different, so consider your parent’s personality and lifestyle to determine what these signs mean for them.

Has your parent had recent accidents, injuries, falls or unexplained bruises? This may be a sign that they’re experiencing health problems and need extra help. 

After talking with their doctors, your next step should be a home safety check. Sometimes there are simple fixes, like decluttering walkways, but other seniors may need larger changes to their home including adding grab bars in the bathroom or building a wheelchair ramp. Use this home safety worksheet from the National Institute on Aging to check your parent’s home.¹  

Everybody forgets things, but when forgetfulness increases in frequency and begins negatively impacting your parent’s life, it’s time to step in and assess the situation. If for example, they have unpaid bills, are missing appointments and neglecting healthcare, you need to address their memory issues. 

How do you know if it’s more than just normal forgetfulness? If your parent asks the same question over and over, gets lost in places they know or is becoming confused by basic information like people and places, it may be a sign of a bigger issue.² Ask your parent to speak with their doctor to see if it’s a symptom of a larger health concern. 

A new diagnosis may be a sign your parent needs help. If they’re in the early stages of a new disease they may need assistance managing new symptoms. Discuss any medical conditions shortly after diagnosis so you can make a game plan for when a caregiver might be needed. This will allow your parent to have a say and partner with you to build their care plan.  

Some medical conditions, like recovering from surgery, require temporary care. Other diagnoses like dementia or a serious health condition may need long-term care. 

When some older adults begin to struggle, you can see the signs around the home. If your parent normally keeps a spotless house but you walk into a kitchen filled with dirty dishes and a floor that hasn’t been swept, it’s a sign that something could be wrong. You know your parent better than anyone. Sometimes piles of laundry are normal, but if that’s not typical for your parent it may be a warning sign. Ask them if certain chores are physically difficult and note where they need assistance. 

See where you can help, for example maintaining the lawn, or where you might need to hire outside help like a cleaning service to help maintain a safe and healthy home.  

Mood changes can often indicate a deeper problem. Monitor your parent’s general mood and outlook, noticing any changes that might indicate they’re having a difficult time. Many seniors encounter mental health issues including depression, dementia, and anxiety.³

Even if they don’t directly tell you something is wrong, a bad or sad mood may indicate they’re facing challenges. If your parent has decreased their social activity, they may be dealing with loneliness or social isolation which can negatively impact their mental health.³ They may need help staying involved in their local community. Many cities have senior centers, and CenterWell Senior Primary Care offers events specifically for seniors.  

Sometimes health problems related to vision or reflexes may impact your parent’s ability to drive. If your parent is uncomfortable driving or has experienced minor accidents, this may be a sign they need someone to help with transportation. 

Many health plans include transport. Additionally, there are organizations that help with transportation for seniors including www.transit.dot.gov, www.eldercare.acl.gov and  www.211.org. 

Missing bills or mismanaging money can be a warning sign. It’s possible your parent forgot a bill, but it also could be part of a larger problem related to memory or their financial well-being.  

Even if they have enough money in their accounts, your parent might feel overwhelmed and unable to keep up with their finances. It can be hard to manage numerous websites, two-factor authentication and avoid scams, even when you’re internet savvy. It might help to add yourself as an authorized user on their accounts. This will allow you to make payments and monitor their finances. 

For parents experiencing financial difficulties, see if they quality for any assistance programs. There are a variety of options available to seniors including Medicare programs, Medicaid options, food aid, utility help, etc.⁴  

Eating a nutritious diet is important, especially as you age. Many seniors forget to eat or skip meals, which can have a negative impact on their health. When you talk to your parent, ask what they had for dinner. This is a casual way of monitoring their eating habits to see if there’s a problem. If you notice they don’t have an answer, make a note of their decreased appetite and bring the concern up at their next doctor’s appointment. 

Additionally, if cooking becomes a struggle or they are making careless mistakes like leaving the oven on, that might be an indicator they need assistance in the kitchen.  

It’s important to monitor your parent’s mobility. If they begin having difficulties, especially around the house, do a home safety check or consider hiring someone to help with household chores. Everyone should feel safe and comfortable in their own home.  

Encourage your parent to stay active, concentrating on exercises that strengthen muscles and bones.⁵ Exercises that focus on balance may help with their mobility. As a caregiver, you can help them with exercises or basic physical therapy. Talk to their doctor and come up with a plan built specifically with their abilities in mind. 

Sometimes there are small signs that your parent needs help. If your well-dressed, always-made-up mother has stopped showering or doing her hair, take note. Pay attention and consider the possibility that a bad hair day might mean something more. Sometimes when people struggle, hygiene is one of the first things neglected. In seniors it can indicate health concerns, like depression or dementia.⁶

When you notice signs that your parent may need help, sit down and talk with them. Listen to their experience to learn what they think is happening. Work together as a team to improve their quality of life, either by caregiving, bringing in extra help or making lifestyle changes.  

At first, they may need only a little assistance. As time goes on and their medical needs change, they may require more care. Being a caregiver is an often unnoticed but important role in helping your loved one continue to live a full and happy life as they get older. Recognizing the signs your parent needs help and coming up with a plan together can make caregiving a smoother process. 

Sources

1. National Institute on Aging. Worksheet: Home Safety Checklist. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Apr. 2023
2. National Institute on Aging. "Memory Problems, Forgetfulness, and Aging." U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
3. "Mental Health in Older Adults." WebMD, 
4. National Council on Aging. "How to Get Help Paying for Food, Housing, and Healthcare."
5. "Caregiver Guide: Mobility Problems." Health in Aging Foundation"
6. "XtCare">Personal Hygiene in Elderly." XtCare